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when i pray, i pray to fate.
i pray that it hears me, but also that it's fake.
i want my wishes to be heard, but not planned.
granted, but on accident.
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| the only way to know how i really feel,
is a slap in the face or a bite ate the heel.
i know that it stings
or i know that it tastes
just as painful and bitter as a move made in haste.
a move made in haste is a move still made,
like a brick in the wall or a kiss in the shade.
but how does it feel
just to build up that wall?
how will i really feel
when all of it falls?
numb is the answer.
laughing is numb.
numb is easy.
numb is fake.
give is give,
and take is take.
i give and i take like i come and i go.
i laugh just as much as i catch and i throw.
i laugh to forget.
i laugh to relive.
i make my moves laughing,
take more than i give.
numb is the answer.
laughing is numb.
the only way to know how i really feel,
is a straighten of face and a turn of the wheel.
it stings and it stings
and it tastes and it tastes,
but when will i learn that it's all just a waste?
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| i felt the need to sing,
when i couldn't speak the words.
i felt the need to sing,
worries spilling out in thirds.
and though i felt the need to sing,
i knew i had to scream.
it started out so calmly-
but it busted at the seam.
rhymes and times confused,
and the notes to hell and gone.
impatiently i raised my voice,
and there i found my song.
i was screaming to you.
singing, for you.
i wanted you to hear
the misery i had to shout
and why i'd lived in fear.
fear of giving up,
a fear of hope running dry.
the day i saw you break
was the day i saw you cry.
and the day i watched you,
watched you as you hung,
was the day i opened my mouth,
opened my mouth and sung.
i wanted you to be there,
but you weren't there to hear.
the day i sang to you
and the day i dried my tears.
i embrace you now,
with open arms,
i know it will get better.
but i know i won't be able to sing,
sing to you in my letters.
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| i think it out,
i let it in,
it seems i always tell
thick from thin.
i count the days,
i will the way,
and still my tries
so useless lay.
my heart is sore,
my heart is tired,
all love is lost
and muddy mired.
my heart is brave,
my heart is true,
so beaten down
from you, from you.
you thin it out,
you force it in,
it seems you can't tell
loss from win.
you fly your days,
you have your ways,
and still your tries
so useless lay.
your heart is sure,
your heart is higher,
the love is there
else it's a liar.
your heart is quick,
your heart is strong,
so right can never
be wrong, be wrong.
i can't thin it out,
you can't let it in,
we can't always see
our sin for sin.
i can't fly the days,
you can't will your ways,
so still our tries
will useless lay.
i think cody made me want to write a poem.
this isn't about anything particular.
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| biggest letdown of the day: on the way to work at 5:30 this morning, the mix 94.1 played the intro to a Prince song.. leading me to believe they were going to play the whole song, seeing as it came right after a different song, but then went straight to commercial. fuck that.
i've come to the realization that for the past.. oh. i don't know. 5 years of my life, i've been focusing on things that are completely insignificant.. atleast for the most part (partying, superfluous socializing, shopping, etc...). i'm glad that i'm finally starting to see what is important and what really matters to me. i'm changing a lot.. and i like it. you might not, but i don't care. that's the cool part. i think high school made me lose my mind. i'm oddly proud of myself. | | |
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